


it’s always your smile

by wonjins



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Comfort, Cuddling, Fluff, M/M, Secret Relationship, excessive use of i love you, jaemin adores renjun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 17:44:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15224438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonjins/pseuds/wonjins
Summary: jaemin and renjun whisper ‘i love you’s as the moonlight bathes the room in a faint glow.





	it’s always your smile

**Author's Note:**

> the title of this was taken from i.l.y by the rose, which was kind of the inspiration for this fic. it’s just a bunch of fluff bc renmin are hormonal teenagers and don’t understand their emotions. enjoy!!

jaemin entered the hotel room late at night when everyone else was already asleep. 

“you aren’t supposed to be in here!” renjun quietly scolded his boyfriend even though he really wasn't upset. he was actually quite happy to have the boy climb into his bed and slip into his grip, as he hadn’t had alone time with him in days and it was starting to get him feeling down. 

jaemin understood what he really meant immediately and started carding his fingers through renjun’s hair. “i know. i knew you would be up and hyuck was asleep, and i really wanted to see you. i’ve missed you a lot.”

renjun smiled and leaned his forehead against jaemin’s. his hands settled on the latter’s waist while jaemin’s were in his hair and on his shoulders. it felt nice, to be so close without worrying about everyone watching. it was so hard to find time just for each other, what with the constant schedules and vigorous practices they had. by the end of the day they were always either not alone, or simply too exhausted. being in nct was rewarding and fun, but it was also a strain on their relationship.

they had to stay completely hidden not just from the public eye, but from their members as well. getting caught in this relationship could easily risk them their careers and their reputations. same sex relations were still taboo in south korea, much to their dismay. it had been something that was discussed when they first got together, back during the chewing gum days. at first, jaemin would not accept that he couldn’t be open with the boy he loved so dearly, but accepted the reality of their situation once their manager sat down and talked to the whole group about the extreme ban on dating, especially within the group. it was a wake up call to him, and he started being more careful immediately.

right now, they whispered sweet nothings to each other as the moon casted a glow on the darkness of the room. ‘i love you’s were thrown back and forth quietly, tossed in with small giggles and kisses.

“god, you’re so perfect junnie. i can’t believe i’m dating someone as perfect as you,” jaemin marveled at his boyfriend, moving his hand down to cup renjun’s cheek. a blush grew on his face, which jaemin cooed at. “i’m serious! you have the smoothest and prettiest skin,” he moved both hands up to rub renjun’s cheeks. “every part of your face is perfect. your nose is adorable and your eyes are beautiful. your lips are so soft and kissable, i swear i could kiss them all day.”

he dropped his hands to renjun’s sides and kissed him lightly. their mouths moved slightly before jaemin smiled against renjun’s mouth and pulled back slowly. he was looking at jaemin with an expression of adoration and love, a sparkle in his eyes that was impossible to attribute to an emotion. the moment was so intimate, especially as they looked into each other’s eyes for what felt like hours.

“i-“ renjun started, but jaemin cut him off.

“did you think i was done? i love so much more about you. i love your soft hands and how small they are when they hold mine. i love your how soft your voice is, but also how it’s so demanding when you want it to be. i love the way you look at me after i kiss you. it’s so beautiful and makes you look somehow even more incredible than before. i love you, huang renjun. so much.”

by the time jaemin’s speech was over, renjun had his head buried into his chest. the former didn’t even have to see him to know his face was on fire, but he was smiling wide. he didn’t force the boy to lift his head back up, just rubbed light circles into his back and kissed his head. the whole thing was so comfortable and relaxed, so neither of them did for a while. it was good to just lie there and take in the moment.

eventually, renjun had to lift his head. when he finally did, jaemin was surprised to the see the tears falling down his cheeks. he was quick to wipe them away with his thumbs and peck his boyfriend lightly, but not without repeating little reassurances. it was obvious that renjun had cried from being overwhelmed with happiness and love, but jaemin was still afraid to see the boy in a vulnerable state that had never been revealed to him before. the only times he had ever seen renjun crying before were when he hurt his back and was forced to go on hiatus, and the first moment they had alone after he returned. it was a rare occurrence, so having him come undone right in front of him was terrifying.

slowly but surely, he stopped crying. there was a short moment of silence before renjun spoke up with his head tilted down, as to not look at jaemin. “i’m sorry, that was so stupid. i shouldn’t have cried,” his voice sounded so broken and quiet that jaemin almost didn’t hear him, but he did. when he realized what he said, though, he almost wished he didn’t.

jaemin pushed his head back up so their eyes met and then gently kissed his forehead. “please, don’t worry about it. you were emotional and we all cry sometimes. i don’t love you any less than before.”

“i love you too.”

they laid in the same position for a long time after that. neither boy wanted the night to come to a close, but jaemin was aware that he needed to go back to his room. he started to get up, but was stopped by a gentle hand on his wrist.

“don’t go.”

jaemin contemplated the words for a moment. renjun had always been the more careful one of the two, scolding his boyfriend for every reckless thing he did when it was possible for them to get caught. it was jaemin who always asked renjun to stay, but got turned down diligently.

“but what about when the manager checks the rooms? you don’t want us to get caught,” jaemin said with sympathy in his voice. he knew what it was like to want something so bad, but not be able to have it. that was what he felt all the time with renjun.

but, the boy shook his head. “i don’t care. i need you here.” 

that was enough to convince jaemin. he slipped back under the covers and started spooning renjun. it was comfortable and it was obvious that renjun was starting to fall into sleep, or that he was already gone to the world.

“i love you,” jaemin whispered quietly with a kiss to his boyfriend’s temple. 

a reply came back in a tired whisper before it was silent again.

“i love you too.”


End file.
